Chances are if you’re here reading this you’re a part of the metaphysical community, whether that’s expressed through crystals, yoga, card reading, or a combination of many things. Chances are if you’re a part of the metaphysical community, which is small in comparison to many other forms of communities, you have a sense that you are a bit different compared to others. Maybe you’re an empath, have had a spiritual awakening, or are on a spiritual path that has shifted your mind towards more important things than the very self centered, materialistic world we live in. If you’re feeling different, and in turn that makes you feel a little bit lonely, keep reading because this is for you.
I recently came across a Buzzfeed video the other day about making friends. It was a cute little illustrated video which shows the world we live in today, and how being an adult it is very difficult to make friendships. It shows the comparison of children and the way they conduct and maintain friendships, compared to adults, which seemingly make it so hard. At the end it said, basically, ask someone to hang out and be your friend. I had a little chuckle and looked at my husband and said, “Oh, yeah, if thats how it really was.” We both know that making friendships as adults is hard. It’s harder than dating, in my opinion.
I’ve been through the dance of kicking off a friendship, and I’m sure you have too. Probably many, many times. It goes a little something like this: You find someone in a yoga class, or maybe at work, or wherever. They have a similar interest as you- maybe they have kids the same age as yours, or they’re into yoga or pottery painting. Maybe you’re as brave as I am and approach them (I always approach. It’s the lonely.) and talk to them about your similar interest and ask them for their number, after all, you have similar interests, right? You get their number (and maybe they think you’re weird for even asking, maybe they think you’re some crazy deranged lunatic because you didn’t just friend them on Facebook like your SUPPOSED to) and you go your separate ways. You send out the text later that evening: “Hey! It was so nice meeting you! Let’s get together for lunch soon?” Then you wait for the same reply you always get: “Yeah, we should!”
Okay, can you sense my bitterness? It’s always “yeah, we should!” in this world. We SHOULD get together. We SHOULD plan that family BBQ. We SHOULD have that double date. And then you never hear from them again. What is it about making friends that is so hard? It’s that this world has shifted in such a dramatic way. No longer are we forced to go up to people and have a genuine face to face contact. These days, you somehow learn someone’s name and you find them on Facebook, they add you back and that’s the end of your encounters. We don’t need to meet up for coffee when we see your everyday life plastered on your wall. Society has this weird, skewed way of thinking that since we can see everything you’re up to all the time, we’re friends! I know the ins and outs of your life! I don’t have to make an effort. Chances are, every one else is just as lonely as you.
What can we do?
We have to be genuine, completely honestly genuine. We have to shine our lights into the world that is so dark and dim from social media, fake connections, and skewed thinking. If you see that stranger that had their yoga mat and reading a book on crystals, go up to her. Tell her your name and say that you really like the book she is reading, and you would love to get to know her more. Don’t leave it at “we should.” It never moves past that, so make it move past that: grab your calendar and say that you’re free next tuesday at 8, how about you? Maybe this leaves you feeling a little bitter like I have been left feeling- always being the one to make the first move towards friendships, and why can’t they come to you first for once? I’ve been there, and guess what, they won’t. People aren’t that forward or brave, so be brave. The worst someone can say is no, right?
Making friendships is hard as an adult. Making them, maintaining them, all of it. The adults of today are so lonely in the fake social media world, and I am worried it’s being passed down to the younger generations as well. So let’s do our parts to shift the world as much as we can back to a genuine state of connection. Let’s remind people what an actual connection is past the friending on facebook. Let’s meet people where they are.
Love and Light.