Good morning! I want to address something possibly controversial, definitely thought-provoking. I’ve had a thought rolling around in my head, constantly, since I began my journey towards spiritual development and self discovery, and it’s been there lingering within for years now. At first, this thought was ever encompassing, and now it’s just a little nag within my head that I choose to ignore. Let me explain.
I grew up in a very religious home. We went to church every Sunday, and every Wednesday. And I don’t want to sit here and bash church, because I respect everyones beliefs and their right to choose what works for them. For me personally, though, it was driven in me at a young age on what is “good” and what is “bad”. Or “evil”. I learned that all things that agreed with the Bible (even though, a lot of the time, the Bible didn’t seem to agree with itself) was correct, and that anything that even hinted at contradiction towards the Bible was wrong, or again, even evil.
But, around the age of 16 (and for reference, I am 27 now), I began to expand my mind and really consider what my soul was longing for. Around that age, I was introduced to crystals. I had a very serious draw towards the New Age community, living so close to Sedona, and I felt like that was the right path for me. I hid that feeling, all the way up until recently. I felt the guilt creep in, I could hear my parents or past pastors talking in my ear about how those things are “evil” and how I will go to hell for even dabbling in it. Even though I don’t even believe in hell, that nagging feeling of disappointing everyone was there. That feeling continues, as I expand what I am into. I’ve recently picked up tarot reading- and I have a fear of letting people close to me know that. I feel like they would consider that, again, “evil” or “fortune telling”- even though it truly is neither. I love the insight and perspective it gives me, to think outside of the normal boundaries of my own head. I believe in reincarnation- but have a fear of expressing that out loud since it maybe doesn’t jive with the people closest to me. I enjoy using my crystals to boost my vibration and heal inner wounds- but I sensor that much of the time, again, out of fear.
There is no right and wrong belief. If you find something that your soul craves, or that your soul authentically says, “Yes! This is me and this is what I am all about!” that is what is right for you. And the idea of being guilted or shamed for that, is disappointing. If you aren’t hurting anyone, you should have the right to be your true, higher self. This is a case among many, and I feel the walls should be torn down in our own lives, in order to shine brighter.
So, how do you deal with those conditioned thoughts you may have grown up with, in order to be your true authentic self? I don’t have the answer for you. All I can say is, I am there with you. And I am learning the way, too. Ideally, what I would love is to just say to everyone, “This is me. This is what I am into and this is what my soul craves and enjoys. I am not you, and if that offends you, so be it.” How liberating would that be? Yet, for me, and so many other people, we can’t simply just proclaim that. We are driven by guilt, a guilt that was embedded in us at such a young age, we can’t shake it. And that is truly a shame.
So, friends, let me ask you. Did you have this life-changing moment? How did you rise above the conditioning and proclaim your true, authentic self?