Good evening, friends. I had a whole plan laid out for this blog post, and threw it out the window, after having a day like I have had today. My brain is barely functioning at this point, but I want to get this out. I want to talk about the concept of holding space, not only for each other, but ourselves as well.
So, you might be asking, what does it mean to “hold space”? It means to sit along side somebody, allowing them to be completely vulnerable, allowing them to feel what they need to feel. To be there for another without judgement, and without offering solutions, trying to impact the outcome, or to fix them or the situation. We are there to just be with them in their experience, with a loving heart.
So, you do nothing? Yes and no. In a way, yes, because you didn’t inject your advice, or your ideas onto the other person. Most of the time when someone is going through something, they don’t want another’s advice. And many times, it is given regardless, and that is more upsetting than anything. When holding space for another, you just sit with your heart open so their experience feels less lonely. And, on the other hand, no. You’ve done everything. You’ve done the basic of all human needs for this other person when you’ve held space: human connection. You’ve nurtured, you’ve shown compassion and love by allowing the moment to be about them.
When you are holding space for another, it’s a gift for both people involved. It’s not about one is in need, and the other is the giver. You’ve become equals in a very real and very human moment, where you have almost filled both shoes simultaneously. As you are holding space in this moment, knowing there have been so many times where others have held space for you, and there is a very real connection in between souls.
So, how can you hold space for yourself? It’s about allowing yourself to be present. About allowing yourself to feel your emotions so deeply and so authentically, you can’t help but be compassionate towards yourself. Finding new ways to take care of yourself. Allowing yourself to spend much needed time in nature, connecting to the earth. Or flowing through a moving mediation such as yoga, connecting to your body and your soul. It’s about being there for yourself, first and foremost, as the most important person in your life. Because, honestly, how can you truly, authentically hold space for another before you learn to hold it for yourself?
How do you hold space for yourself? Please, leave a comment with your go-to self care tips.